The Reason!
by loving'it4321
Summary: Suzuno is getting abadoned by her one and only friend, and is now all alone, and she hopes that the next school will be better, but will it? She is fighting with her own thoughts, and her shyness. You can't be loved, if you don't love yourself, can you! This is a Special story for me... so please no flames..
1. The Replacement

**Hi everyone, I have a new story here, it won't be a long one, I guess like five chapters, but I know myself, it always gets more.. but I will see :D**

**This story is very special to me because, well.. this happened to me, and I hope you all can appreciate it, because it's deep inside still bothering me.. there will be some time skips.. and I will change some things, and I'm Suzuno in this story! **

**Because well she/he is my favourite character, and I see myself a lot in her, trying to hide your own emotion and show fake ones..and be a little bit a tomboy, but well you'll will see it in the story, and once again I hope you can appreciate it, because I think I want to write it, to let it go or something, I don't know, it's just bothering me everyday again, and I have to go to a new school in a few days, and I'm peeing my pants for it, hehe :P and I want to start all over again.. **

**Well here is it, I hope you like it.. **

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_Ohw, and will use, the names of the characters in Inazuma Eleven(I don't own them.) warning: it will be totally mixed, because I use characters that are almost the same as the real persons, not like appearance but as persons, to play my Classmates and stuff, because I won't use their real names of course hehe :P_

**Have fun reading!**

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_Primary school, 1__st__ grade:_

"He Suzuno, let's play in the sandpit!" my best friend told me, while she grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the sandpit were we always played in. She was my best friend, we did everything together, and didn't had much friends, she was actually my only friend..

She is called An, Some people call her Rean.. she was very popular in our group.. but I stayed her best friend and she never leaved me behind, because some kids in our class liked to make fun of me sometimes, but she never did. I followed her, we were friends since kinder garden, and my parents were friends with hers.. so I often played at her house, after school.

After a half hour playing with her in the sandpit it was time to go inside, and we could go back learning time payments, something I sucked at big time..

I was a quite person, I don't say anything, only if someone asked me, only with An I Could be myself, because I was afraid others would laugh at me, if I was my true self..

"Okay, you can clean your table!" the teacher said, because the day was almost done.. "Hey Suzuno, can you play at my house after school?" An asked me.

"Yeah sounds fun, should ask my parents first though!" and I gave her a smile..

"Tomorrow comes the new students, she is a girl, I'm curious how she is!"

"Yeah, I hope she is nice!" I replied to her.. and we talked a little further until the school bell rang, we ran outside to our parents and we really excited asked if we could play.. my parents said yes and I could even eat at her house. We drove to her house, she lived on a farm, and we always played on the haystacks, it was very nice, we played hide and seek, and she had a large dog who we learned tricks, and she had a huge trampoline in her garden .. and we were allowed to ride with her father on the tractor. To play with her was really nice, and we almost always went to her house, mine was way smaller, I lived in the village and my garden was not nearly as big as her we had a swing, but you had almost no room to walk.

"Suzuno!" An said while she ran towards me, with some sweets in her hand.. she told me to wait on the bench outside..

"What's that?" I asked her.

"It are sweet, but don't tell my parents, I'm not allowed to eat sweets before dinner, hihi"

"An, Suzuno, food is ready in a few minutes.." An's mother said while she came to walk towards us..

"Fast hide it!" I hissed to An, who handed the half to me and we both hide it behind our backs, and tried to act as normal as possible.. what didn't work, because we had to hold or laughs, and that didn't worked.. we burst out of laugh..

"What are you girls laughing about?" her mother asked with a sweet smile on her face..

"They stole sweets!" Kogure An's little brother teases, while he giggles a little.. "Run!" An whispered to me.. and we ran as fast as we could with the sweets in our hands.. "To the barn!" An ordered and I followed her, we climbed through all the devices, towards the roof.. and we sighed deep when we were on.. we both looked at each other, and then started to laugh like crazy.. "_HAHAHA_ did you saw my mom's face, when we ran away!" An laughed..

"Yeah _HAHAHA_ she didn't see that coming!" I replied.

...

After a while, we had to eat, and we apologized at the table, after dinner we played a little with her dolls, and after that I went home..

...

_Next morning:_

"Suzuno, wake up, it's time for school!" my mother waked me up.. "Two more minutes.." I replied..

"No Fuusuke, you said that a few minutes ago too, it's time to get up now, and I get changed, I lay down some clothes for you at the chair.. hurry up and some eat down stairs.." my mother replied slightly annoyed..

I rolled myself out of bed, I'm always lazy when it comes to wake up, my whole life of 7 years..

I crawled towards my chair, and used it as a support to get up.. then I rubbed my eyes, and looked at the clothes my mom laid out.. and I let out a huge sigh..

"Not again" I said to myself, there lay a pants with an army print and wide legs, and a brown top with a bird on it..**(In Holland we won't were uniforms.. well not that I know)** my mother like to shop in the cycle shop, that's where people dump their old clothes and stuff, and then you can buy it for a cheap price.. but I hated it, I looked like a real tomboy in those clothes, but my mom is always so happy when she comes with something like that home, then she says, 'Suzuno sweetheart, I have present, look how cute..' and then I can't possible say 'no' to her, afraid to hurt her, because she only means well.

I dressed myself and looked at the mirror, my hair was a complete mess, I grabbed a brush, and tried to get my hair a little nice, but I gave up after a few seconds, I wouldn't look nice with those clothes, so what does my hair cares..

I walked downstairs and sit down on table, were a tasty lubricated sandwich lay, ready for me to eat.. my mother was busy with the lunchboxes for me and my little sister, my little sister was one year younger than me, and the total opposite of me, she was also wearing second hands clothes, but she couldn't stop talking for a minute, and was very popular in her class, and I totally think it's annoying that she brings a friend home EVERY day.. but maybe I think it's annoying because I'm jealous, I think that's the problem, not that I ever going to admit it, but I play more with the friends of my sister, then I play with children from my own class.

"Where is Haruna?" I asked my mom.. (Haruna is my little sisters name..)

"She is watching TV, because she is already ready to go." My mother replied..

"Mom?"

"Yeah sweetie?"

"We have a new girl in our class today." I said.

"Really? That's nice, well I hope I'll see her here soon.."

"Yeah I hope that to!"

After a while I was done eating and me, my sister and my mother walked towards school, we first dropped Haruna in her class, who was surrounded by a lot of girl immediately and then my mother dropped me at my class.. all my classmates we gathered around one table, were probably the new kid was sitting.. I walked over to my table, and waited for the teacher, I wasn't the kind of girl that immediately jumped in the new kid..

After a while the teacher arrived, and everybody went to sit on their places..

I looked at the new kid, she had blue hair, and a dark skin, and she looked quite confident about herself...

"Okay everyone, as you can see we have a new girl in our class, can you come forward and introduce yourself?" the teacher said to the new girl..

The girl stood up and went to stand next to the teacher, she smiled and said: "Hello my name is Urabe Rika, nice to meet you all!"

"Nice to meet you!" the whole class replied.. and then she went to sit on her place again..

She was on the table together with An, Shigeto, Megane, and Goenji..

"An? Can you help Rika, with everything?" the teacher asked An..

"Of course!" she replied...

The day went fast and was boring, but it was almost time for the break, and when the bell rang, everyone stormed outside, and just as always, I was last in the class, and slowly put on my jacked and walked outside.

When I was outside I was looking for a certain orange head, and I saw her standing with that new girl..

I walked over to them..

"Hee!" I said to them..

"Hii!" the new girl replied...

"What are you doing?" I gently asked them..

"That's none of your business.." An said to me with a poker face.. I looked at her startled.. what did she mean, that must have been a joke..

"We are going to play hide and seek." Rika answered.

"C-Can I join?"

"No you can't, come on Rika, we'll play there.." An said, while she dragged Rika with her away from me..

'_Why can't I play, we are best friends right? Do you let a best friend play alone.. did she just replaced me?!'_ I thought and I felt a tear streaming over my cheek, and I looked down at my feet's..

'_my one and only friend, just replaced me, and now, I have nobody anymore..' _

I looked up, at all the children playing outside, most in groups, some were playing hide and seek, some were just talking, some on the tumble bars, and some in the sandpit.. I walked over to a corner, and went to sit against the wall, my eyes followed the happy children playing with their friends..

I closed my eyes and hugged my legs, and let go of some tears...

"He Suzuno, what do you wear?" I heard Kii ask me, and she had Netsuha and Someoka with her..

"Yeah, you look like a wanderer."

But I didn't react on that.. and I just ignored them, and it helped and they walked away.. suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder..

"Are you alright?" I saw Hiroto standing next to me, and Atsuishi behind him, both clearly concerned about me..

"Y-Yeah, it's just... no..nothing, I'm fine." I said, I didn't wanted to burden them with my problems..

"Okay." He said and the two of them walked away..

'_What's wrong with me, they were being nice, and I didn't even thanked them, you will never make friends like this..'_ I thought and tightened to grip on my knees, and again there fell a tear down my face..

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**That was it, and again, I changed it a little, I mean it would be too personal if I didn't hehe, and I was really doubting if I should upload this, I really didn't knew, so if you like it, then please review..**

**Thanks for reading!:)**


	2. There is nothing wrong, really!

**Here is a new chapter, really fast actually, I'm extremely bored, so I just wrote another chapter, I don't need inspiration for this story, so I wrote a new chapter for this one hehe:3**

**Hope you will like it :D and please enjoy reading..**

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_Primary school, 4__th__ grade:_

Alone that's what I feel when I'm on school.. never ever I play with someone, and break time turned form my favourite subject to my most loneliest subject..

Every day, in the break, it's the same corner, same emptiness, and I look at all the children who are playing happy with their friends, it makes me sad, but somewhere it makes me happy that they have fun.. I don't know why, it's just that I'm glad that they are not alone.. and their happiness make me smile, hoping one day I can play just like them, with real friends...

And it's embarrassing to sit all alone in a corner, I always hope no one's see me.. there in that dark corner..

And it was a day as no other, for four years, the same routine, come in.. sitting on my place without saying anything.. listen to the teacher, and if he asks me something, I hardly dare to talk out loud, and getting a red face, because everyone starts to giggle when I'm stuttering...

Silence is a good way to describe my life.. yeah silence..

Now I was sitting in that stupid corner again, looking at some kids playing tag..

"He! How are you?" I heard someone, ask me, I looked up, and saw Tachimukai standing next to me, looking down on me..

"I'm f-fine, you?" I answered him..

Tachimukai was a nice boy, he spent much time with the popular guys, but I've never heard him say something painful, he is a bit shy, but he's one of them .. so why does he talks to me? Everyone sees me now as the quiet girl or tomboy.

"I'm fine, nice you ask." He said when a sat down next to me..

"Don't you want to play?" he now asked.. I didn't knew how to answer, I mean, I don't want anyone to know, I'm afraid of asking to join... so I said: "I-I... I don't have anyone to play with.." and I looked down at my feet's again.

I could feel my eyes getting watery, but it did my best to hold them, they already saw me a the quiet one, I didn't wanted to become the cry baby, did I?

"Well, should we play?" he asked me, did I heard that right? Did he just asked the tomboy to play with him?...

"Okay..." I shyly replied...

"What do you want to do?"

I wanted so many things, I saw the kids making those big castles in the sandpit, or maybe playing hide and seek, that looked like fun, because they always smile when I see them do that, but... I didn't dare to suggest it, I mean what if he would laugh at me.. that would be so embarrassing.. so I replied with a simply: "I don't know.."

"Why don't you join us, we are going to play 'Boys get the Girls.'" He suggested. _( That's a game, that was very popular on my school back then, then the boys had the tap the girls and lead them to a circle, the girls could get out, if a other girl would touch them, while the boys guarded the circle with girls in it, it's also called: Police and Thief..)_

"O-Okay!" I was really nervous, when I followed Tachimukai towards the other, I mean it were all those popular people..

"Suzuno is joining!" Tachimukai announced, what caused me to blush because everyone looked at me.. I thought I was getting answers like 'Why that tomboy!' or 'No way, not the quiet girl.' But they just replied, with a simple uninteresting 'Kay'

The boys started to count, and all the girls ran away, spread around the schoolyard.. and also I ran, I knew it was a game, and it just started but I was actually happy that I could finally join a game..

But what happened next was really embarrassing.. one to another girl got patted, but they didn't even looked at me, as if I wasn't there, I just stood still, but they just ran past.. so when they patted every girl, they looked around to see if there was another girl.. and then Netsuha said: "We won! We got all girls!"

'No you didn't!' I wanted to scream, but of course I didn't, I saw Tachimukai look at me, but he didn't say anything, I was standing like a total freak in the middle of the schoolyard, looking at the group in front of me, who were totally ignoring my existence.. a tear streamed down my face.. when I saw they did another round, now the girls had to get the boys..

I wasn't joining from the start, they never excepted me from the very beginning, what was I thinking, why would they want someone like me joining..

My tear felt on the ground and I followed it until it hit the ground, and I stared at it where now a wet little spot on the ground lay..

"I will never have friends, who wants to be friends with a loser like me?" I whispered to myself, and I headed back to my usual spot, the always dark, and lonely corner..

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_**After school at home:**_

"Suzuno get away from the TV, you know they say you get square eyes, If you watch to long?"

"Dad! That is not true.." I said when I turned off the TV..

"Why don't you ask An to play, I never see her anymore.."

"She was busy.." I lied, I didn't want them to know, how it was in school, they would probably wanted to talk with the teacher, who would tell my problem openly to the whole class, and the I would never get real friends..

"Well, the neighbourhoods are playing outside, why don't you join them, Haruna is there to.. they play ten seconds in the jungle.. I thought.."

"Okay dad, what you want.." I replied, and when I past my dad, he gave me a gentle pat on my head, and then I put on my jacket, and walked outside...

My neighbourhoods were a little older, there was a boy who is a year older, his name was Tsunami.. then there were two girls, one was three years older, and the other six years older.. the younger one was called Natsumi, and the other was Aki..

They lived next to us, and there were two other kids, from two housed further.. a boy from Haruna's age, and a girl of the same age as Natsumi..

The boys name was Shuuji, and the girl Clara..

That were the five neighbourhoods I always played with.. but the parents off: Tsunami, Aki, and Natsumi, just got divorced and the mother of Shuuji and Clara, became ill, so they didn't play with us that often anymore, and there was no one who was actually my age.. so I felt a little alone with them.. but they were nice people and I could laugh with them some times...

"He Suzuno?! Do you join?" Aki asked me..

"Yeah, if you don't mind!"

"Of course not! You're always welcome!" Tsunami said.. you know, sometimes those five really knew how to cheer me up, on the right way.. not by asking if everything was alright, but just by showing they cared about me.. even if we weren't from the same age, it were some kinda friends for me..

We played for a while, and then I went back to home, we ate dinner and talked about our day.

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_**At dinner:**_

"So Suzuno, how was your day?" my mother asked me..

"G-Good..." I said, I never told them anything in the details, I didn't wanted them to worry about me..

"Are you sure, you never tell us anything anymore, did something happened?"

I was waiting for that question to come, because well, my parents knew me well enough to feel a change in my mood.

"N-No, nothing.." I lied.. but well.. I'm a TERRIBLE liar..

"You do.." Haruna said.. "People off my class say that you're always alone.."

I could smash her on that moment, why did she tell that, if she knew, that she should also have known that I didn't wanted to let them know..

But for some reason my parents didn't go further on this subject, and just started to eat their food in silence..

After dinner, I went to shower, and after that, I dressed myself in my pyjamas and went to bed.. I walked yawning to my room.. I closed the door and walked to my window.. I grabbed the pillow from my bed, and I went to sit on the wide panel next to the window, I leaned my head against the window, and looked outside to the sky.. where a million beautiful stars shone, in the black and dark sky..

I was immediately lost in those shining things..

Suddenly my mom came walk in, she grabbed a chair and put it next to the window, so she was sitting next to me..

"You often look like the stars don't you?" she said.

"Y-Yeah, why?"

"Well, I think something is bothering you! You know you can tell me anything?"

"Yeah I know.."

"You know?... sometimes it's a relieve, when you talked to something what's bothering you, because most problems can't be solved all alone.."

"I know mom, but there is nothing for you to worry about.."

"I know you lie sweetheart, so please tell, what's the reason of you being all alone.. I won't go till you tell me.."

"Pff fine.. " I sighted.. "You know when I said we had a new girl in class?"

"Yeah."

"Well, An Replaced me for her.. a-and I don't have any other friends at school..so.."

"Sweetie, why didn't you tell us in the first place?"

"I didn't want you to worry, because mom, I'm fine, really!"

"Okay, I believe you? But you know, I can talk to you teacher about it."

"NO!~.. I-I don't want that.. I'm okay, Really!"

"Okay, if yo want to talk, I'm here okay.." and she pressed a soft kiss against my forehead.. "Now go to bed, you have to wake up early tomorrow." And she lead me to the bed.. then she pressed again another kiss on my forehead.. "I love you sweetheart, sleep well."

"Love you to mom, good night!" and then she leaved me alone..

I closed my eyes, and thought about..well..everything.. about my time with An, and how she just let me fall so easily..

About the time, I could join the game and they even didn't see me.. and about the times that I always were alone in that stupid corner.. and all the time.. Those people gave me a disgusting look.. and I kept on telling myself, that everyone saw me as the ugly, quiet tomboy, and that that never would change... and the tears streamed down my face, like every single night.

But did they really thought that about me, or was it just a thought?

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**That was it.. I hope you liked it, and let me know what you think about it!:D**

**Thanks for reading and I hope I make you curious for the next chapter, and again please no Flames, because this story is special to me..:)**


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